01
"I've never licked a 9V battery."
Science. Terrible science. This is where it all started — a couch, a battery, and the beginning of something.
02
"I've never tried to lick my elbow."
Turns out there's a reason nobody does this. My shoulder has filed a formal complaint with my brain.
03
"I've never eaten a Tim Tam backwards."
Wrong end first. I have regrets about this. I'd do it again immediately.
04
"I've never said moist ten times in a row."
I need a minute. And possibly a support group.
05
"I've never opened a banana from the bottom."
Apparently this is how monkeys do it. I have been wrong my whole life. The monkeys were right.
06
"I've never deliberately sniffed a Sharpie."
Adding this to the list of things I've done for content and cannot take back.
07
"I've never tried to fold a fitted sheet properly."
Day 7 and nothing has changed. The sheet won. The sheet always wins.
08
"I've never walked every lap of my block ten times in a row."
A man, a footpath, and the slow realisation that I am less fit than I thought.
09
"I've never called someone I've been meaning to call for months."
Made the call. Took four minutes. I'd been carrying it for three months. We talked for an hour.